I'm sure by now you have seen my prime time commercials proclaiming the results of my recent "victory" over the Chicago Teachers Union. Notice how calm I am? Notice how I use my recent catch-phrase "Our Children"? For the record when I say "Our Children", I really mean your children. My kids are never going to a public school. Are you kidding?
What I am hoping to accomplish with these commercials is to deflect any perception of the reality that Karen Lewis called my bluff and beat me at my own game.
First, I made sure the 2012 4% raise that Chicago Teachers Union had negotiated for its members was not going to be paid to them. I relied on contract language that allowed me to back out of the deal that was brokered.
As if that wasn't enough of slap in the face, I instituted a longer school day without even negotiating it. Teachers contract? What contract? When the Union balked, I attempted to deal directly with their members by offering bribes, wait I mean bonuses, to those teachers who would agree to the longer day. I even offered bribes, I can't believe I said it again, I mean bonuses to the individual schools that could hoodwink their teachers into accepting the longer day. Then the damn Union files a complaint about my actions and shoots my whole plan all to hell.
While all this was going on I attacked on a different front through the Illinois legislature. I had a sure fire plan to put those pesky teachers and their leader, Karen Lewis in their places. I came up with a plan that guaranteed they would not be able to strike no matter what I did to them. I had legislation enacted that required 75% of their members to call for a strike vote before they could actually strike. We all know that they would never reach that number.
Well, the ball was now in their court. I kept ranting about the longer school day and teacher evaluations and how it was all about "The Children". I hadn't thought of the "Our Children" phrase yet. Karen Lewis took the ball and ran for a hundred yard touchdown. Not only did she get 75% of her members to vote to strike, she got more than 90%.
Not knowing what to do, I put all my eggs in the basket of a fact finder named Ed Benn. I urged the Union to hold off on the strike until he found his facts. The Union complied and I waited until Mr. Benn came back with a decision that would put those radicals in their place. Then a funny thing happened. Mr. Benn agreed with the teachers. Imagine my chagrin when he actually proposed paying them for the longer school day with raises to boot. Well, we were not gonna have any of that.
The strike was on! I could surely hold out longer than a bunch of rag-tag teachers who had water bills, city stickers, and property taxes to pay. I figured they would we out two or three days at most. When they didn't come crawling back as expected, I had that Vitale guy sweeten the pot. What did those ingrates do then? Instead of accepting my benevolence, they had the audacity to stay out even longer to read the offer before accepting it. In the end, they did accept it.
Yes, there is a longer school day, but the teacher's actual work hours remained the same. Yes, teacher evaluations include student performance levels, but not the first year and the levels are nowhere near the original proposal. Yes, principals can hire who they want, but the reality was that they always could. Yes, parents can choose where their children attend school, but they always could.
In the end, as the commercials demonstrate, I am a winner. I really showed those teachers. Didn't I?
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